Stay away from Mommy [Nice Story]

Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff. But then the teacher realised that only Janie was left. “Janie, do you have a story to share ?’

”Yes madam……My daddy told me a story about my Mom.

She was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey,  a pistol and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.

She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

”Good Heavens,’ said the horrified teacher. ‘What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?

“Stay away from Mommy when she’s drunk……!!!!”

New Husband for Sale – Excellent Joke

A store that sells “New Husbands” has opened in New York City,
where a woman may go to choose a husband.
There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the floors..
A woman goes to find a husband.

Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs.
She continues to the second floor..
Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs …n love kids..
she continues upward…
Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking..
‘Wow,’ she thinks, but She goes to the fourth floor..
Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Good Looking and Help with Housework.
She exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’ Still, she goes to the fifth floor…
Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are very handsome, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic nature.. 
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 – You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor…
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please!!! 
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store..
(scroll and keep reading!) 
Now The store’s owner opened a “New Wives Store” just across the street..
The 1st Floor has wives that listen to men..
The 2nd, 3rd, 4th,5th and 6th floor have never been visited by men!!!!!!