- If your child is openly defiant, it is because you openly threaten to do something but dont follow through
- If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough
- If your child does not respect other people’s feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order and command them
- If your child is not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you have lost them
- If your child is too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehavior and you give little attention to good behavior
- If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don’t let them chose what they want.
- If your child is excerssively jealous, it is because you are only congratulate them when they successfully complete something and not when they improve at something even inf they don’t successfully complete it
- If your child is cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly.
- If your child does not stand up for themselves , it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.
- If your chiild is secretive, it is because they don’t trust that you won’t blow things out of propotion.
- If your child had poor self-esteem, it is because you advice them more than you encourage them.
- If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right
- If your child doesn’t listen to you but listens to others, it is because you are too quick to make decisions.
- If your child lies to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behavior.
- If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others and think its normal behavior.
It was their anniversary, and Aisha was waiting for her husband Rajiv to show up.
Things had changed since their marriage, the once cute couple couldn’t-live-without-each-other had turned bitter. Fighting over every little things, both didn’t like the way things had changed.
Aisha was waiting to see if Rajiv remembered it was their anniversary!
Just as the door bell rang she ran to find her husband wet and smiling with a bunch of flowers in his hand. The two started re-living the old days. Making up for fights, then was the plan for champagne, light music and it was raining outside! It was perfect. But the moment paused when the phone in the bedroom rang.
Aisha went to pick it up and it was a man. “Hello ma’am I’m calling from the police station. Is this Mr Rajiv Mehra’s number?”
“Yes it is!”
“I’m sorry ma’am; but there was an accident and a man died. We got this number from his wallet; we need you to come and identify his body.”
Aisha’s heart sank.!!! She was shocked! But my husband is here with me?”
“Sorry ma’am, but the incident took place at 2 pm, when he was boarding the train.”
Aisha was about to lose her conscience. How could this happen?!
She had heard about the soul of the person coming to meet a loved one before it leaves!
She ran into the other room. He was not there. It was true! He had left her for good!!
Oh God she would have died for another chance to mend every little fight! She rolled on the floor in pain. She lost her chance! Forever!
Suddenly there was a noise from the bathroom, the door opened and Rajiv came out and said “Darling, I forgot to tell you my wallet got stolen today”.
LIFE MIGHT NOT GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE. SO NEVER WASTE A MOMENT WHEN YOU CAN STILL MAKE UP FOR YOUR WRONGS!!!
In relationships with your loved ones, when looking at the other, sometimes positive emotions are generated and sometimes negative. On the one hand, joy, love and happiness is generated on being with them; but then attachment, dependency and expectations are generated.
In such situations, you are more focused on others and are always looking at the other person’s behavior, you stop seeing yourself and being aware of your reactions and taking the responsibility for the responses that you create.
You get frustrated when the other person does not meet your expectations. As you depend on them, if they don’t act as you would like, if they don’t reach home or call you at the time you would like; all this frustrates you. You radiate this energy to the other: “they are not doing what they should be doing,” and so you feel frustrated and discontented.
All the while that you hold the other one responsible for your frustration, you are not in charge of your own reactions, because you have given power to the other to dominate your emotional world. It is there that you lose your freedom. You lose your freedom because you give to the other, in the name of love, power over your own moods. You allow the others’ energy to enter your inner world and cause inside you frustration, bad moods, irritation, sorrow and a mental and emotional dependence where you are constantly thinking about where they are, what they have to do, what they have to say, where they have to go, and all this consumes a lot of your mental energy. Wanting to control the other and the frustration that it brings with it uses up a lot of emotional energy.
Never try to control other’s life e.g. some parents try to control their kids (life) even after their marriage and thus create lot of confusions. Instead of trying to change everyone, let us change ourselves to live a Happy Life as also allowing others!