Manager is a Manager (Just for Fun)

A wealthy manager was driving in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man “Why are you eating grass?”

“We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “We have to eat grass.” “Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you” the manager said.

“But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree”.

“Bring them along,” the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, “You come with us also.”

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, “But sir, I also have a wife and seven children with me!”

“Bring them all, as well,” the manager answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was.

One of the poor fellows turned to mr. Manager and said, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

The manager replied, “Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!”

Lesson: Never trust managers… They will take u to any extreme to finish their job. 😄😄😄😄

Stay away from Mommy [Nice Story]

Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff. But then the teacher realised that only Janie was left. “Janie, do you have a story to share ?’

”Yes madam……My daddy told me a story about my Mom.

She was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey,  a pistol and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.

She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.

”Good Heavens,’ said the horrified teacher. ‘What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?

“Stay away from Mommy when she’s drunk……!!!!”

Cultural Gap

What is “GENERATION GAP”?
Father used to walk 20 Minutes to save 20 Rs.
Son spends 20 Rs. to save 20 Minutes.
(Surprisingly both are correct…!!!)

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Cultural Gap
If electricity goes in America they call the power house.
In Japan, they test the fuse,
But In India, they check neighbour’s house, “power gone there too….then ok!”
Funny but true

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Sense of Responsibility…
A man goes to library and asks for a book on Suicide……….
Librarian looks at him and says: “hello.. who will return the book ????”

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GRANDFATHER TO GRANDSON: Go hide! Your teacher is coming as you bunked
school today!
GRANDSON: YOU go hide.. I told her YOU PASSED AWAY!!

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Sister to brother: What r u going to gift grandma on her birthday?
Brother: A football
Sister: But grandma does not play!
Brother: So what? On my birthday she gave me Bhagavad Gita/Bible.

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A woman went shopping. At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier
noticed a TV remote in her purse. He couldn’t control his curiosity n asked “Do u
always carry ur TV remote with u?” She replied ” No, not always, but my husband
refused to accompany me for shopping today.. …………..

Moral : Accompany your wife….

The story continues….

The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased.
Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing. He said your
husband has blocked your credit card……….

MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband.

Wait wait, story is not yet over. It continues….

Wife took out her husband’s credit card from purse and uses it to clear all the bills. Unfortunately
he didn’t block his own card.
Moral:…… Don’t underestimate the power of a WIFE. 🙂 🙂

Women’s favourite joke. Men will also enjoy.

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some chocolate with it instead of dinner?”

“No, I had to stop sweets years ago”, the homeless woman replied.

“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” the woman asked.

“No, I don’t waste time shopping”, the homeless woman said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”

“Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?”, the woman asked.

“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless woman. “I hvnt had my hair done in 20 years!”

“Well,” said the woman, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband
and myself tonight.

The homeless woman was astounded. “Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”

The woman replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, salon and chocolates