CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested “I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.” The SDU officer said, “Your requirements, please.” “Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don’t go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.”

The officer listened carefully and replied, “I understand you need television.”

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

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NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, “Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?”

The father-in-law answered in a smile, “Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.”

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

My Mother's Eight Lies – Inspiring Story

1. This story begins when I was a child.  I was born the son of a poor family. We often lacked enough food.  When it was time to eat, mother often gave me her share, saying, “Eat this rice, son.  I’m not hungry.”

 That was Mother’s First Lie

 

2. When I was growing up, my persistent mother would fish in a river near our home.  She hoped to catch fish that would give me more nutrition than rice. She would make fish soup from those she caught.  I always had an appetite for it.  While I was eating my soup, mother would sit by my side and nibble on the small pieces of fish remaining on the bones.  My heart was touched.  When I tried to give her some of my fish, she would refuse, saying “Eat the fish, son.  I really don’t like them.”

 That was Mother’s Second Lie.

 

3. Then, when I was in Junior High School, to pay for my school costs, Mother would find small jobs to earn money to pay for them, and to provide for our needs.  When winter came, and I would go to bed earlier, I’d waken from my sleep to see my Mother still working on the small projects that earned the money we needed.  I’d say, “Mother, go to sleep.  It’s late. Tomorrow morning you still must go for more work.  You need to rest.”  Mother would smile and say, “Go to sleep, dear.  I’m not tired.”

 That was Mother’s Third Lie.

 

4. At the time of my final term in school, Mother asked for a leave from her work in order to accompany me when I took my final tests. She stood in the heat of the sun, patient as always, waiting for the bell to ring signalling that the tests were over.  Mother immediately welcomed me, pouring me a cold glass of tea that she had prepared the evening before. I would say, though, that the tea wasn’t as sweet as my Mother’s love.  Seeing her covered with persperation, I’d offer her my tea to drink.  She’d say, “Drink, son; I am not thirsty!”

 That was Mother’s Fourth Lie.

 

5. After my father died because of a long illness, my poor mother had to play her role as a single parent. By holding onto her only job, she paid for our needs alone. Father”s death made our life more complicated. There were no times when we had no problems.  There was a nice uncle who lived nearby who helped when he could.  Our neighbors saw that our family’s life was miserable, and suggested that mother remarry.  But she was stubbofrn and said, “I don’t need love.”

 That was Mother’s Fifth Lie.

 6. After I had finished my study and got a job, it was time for my mother to retire. But she didn’t want to.  She was persistent to go to the marketplace every morning, just to sell some vegetable to fulfill our needs. I, who worked in the other city, often sent her some money to help; but she was stubborn and wouldn’t accept the money. She even sent it back to me. She said, “I have enough money.”

 That was Mother’s Sixth Lie.

  7. After I graduated from university with my Bachelor Degree, I continued my studies to earn my Master Degree. My studies were funded by a company that had a scholarship program. The degree was from a famous university in America. After my degree, I began working for that company, receiving quite a large salary.  I intended to bring my mother to enjoy her remaining life in America . But my lovely mother didn’t want to bother her son.  She said to me. “I am not used to change. Thank you, no!”

 That was Mother’s Seventh Lie.

 

8. After entering old age, Mother got cancer and had to be hospitalized. Though I was miles and an ocean away, I returned home to be with my Mother.  She had an operation that left her weak. She looked so old and tired.  Even though she was, she tried to smile and show her love for me. It was clear to me that even smiling was difficult because of the pain. Her body was so ravaged by the cancer.  She was weak and thin.

 I looked at my Mother with tears streaming down my cheeks.  My heart was so broken seeing her in her sad condition. But my dearest Mother, despite her impossible condition said so lovingly to me, “Don’t cry, my dear.  I am not in pain.”

 That was Mother’s Eighth Lie. 

Ten Centimeter‏

A man bought a new pair of trousers for his primary school mates reunion dinner. When he tried out at home, he found that the trousers were too long by 10cm.
He asked his mother to help him shorten the pants. His mother said she could not do it as she was not feeling well and would like to rest early.
So the man approached his wife to shorten his pants. His wife said she was very tired and had a lot of work to do that night, so she could not help him to shorten the pants that night.
Then the man asked his daughter. His daughter apologized for not able to do it that night because she had agreed to go dancing with her boyfriend
“Ah well!” The man thought and decided he could wear his old trousers to the reunion.
Later that night, his mother thought to herself, “My son has been very nice to me. I’ll just help him to shorten his pants before going to rest.” So she shortened the pants by 10cm.
Then his wife finished her work and thought,” My husband knows I am always very busy and seldom asked me to help him. I would oblige him today.” So she shortened the man’s pants by another 10cm.
His daughter came home from dancing, and thought, “Papa loves me very much and when I declined to shorten his pants, he was not angry at all! I would help him to shorten his pants.” So she shortened her daddy’s pants yet another 10cm.
On the next day, the three ladies told the man that his pants were shortened. He tried them on and found that his pants had become shorter by 30cm!
His reaction:
He laughed heartily, and said, “I must wear this pair of pants to show my schoolmates that my mum, my wife and my daughter are such loving people.”
At the dinner, his old classmates were very envious of his loving family. His mother, wife and daughter were very happy to learn about his classmates’ reaction.

Here’s why you must have sex everyday

Have you ever heard that song called Sexual Healing? It’s not just a metaphor. Sex can actually heal. It can heal your body and mind and prevent lots of diseases.

Some say it’s the first medicine ever known to man and it should be administered daily. Sounds too good to be true? Let’s discover the four reasons for which a man should have sex each day.

Great form of exercise
Making love is a form of physical activity. During intercourse, the physiological changes in your body are consistent with a workout. You must have noticed that the respiratory rate rises, which means you get tired. Hence, you burn calories. If you have sex three times a week for 15 minutes (but we know you can do better than that) you’ll burn about 7.500 calories in a year. That’s the equivalent of jogging 75 miles! Heavy breathing raises the amount of oxygen in your cells, and the testosterone produced during sex keeps your bones and muscles strong.

Pain relief
The “Honey, not today, I have a headache” cannot be an excuse any more. During sex, both male and female bodies produce endorphins, hormones that act as weak painkillers. A study conducted by Gina Ogden showed that during sexual stimulation and especially during orgasm, we don’t feel pain. If she finds another excuse, remind her that sex is good for her entire reproductive system, because it trains the PC muscle, which keeps the reproductive organs in shape. In women, sex can also increase fertility, postpone the menopause and relieve PMS symptoms.

Prostate protection
Most of the fluid you ejaculate is secreted by the prostate gland. If you stop ejaculating, the fluid stays in the gland, which tends to swell, causing lots of problems. Regular ejaculation will wash those fluids out and ensure the well being of your prostate until old age. Problems may also occur when you suddenly change the frequency of ejaculations.

Prevents erectile dysfunctions
Fifty per cent of men older than 40 suffer from erectile dysfunctions and all young men fear the moment when they won’t be able to get it up any more. The best medicine against impotence is…sex. An erection keeps the blood flowing through your penile arteries, so the tissue stays healthy. Plus, doctors compare an erection to an athletic reflex: the more you train the more capable you are to perform.

Stress relief
It’s a scientific fact: sex can be a very effective way of reducing stress levels. During sex your body produces dopamine, a substance that fights stress hormones, endorphins, aka “happiness hormones” and oxytocin, a desire-enhancing hormone secreted by the pituitary gland.

(Curtsy to TOI)

Make Your Child Financial Literate‏

If you want your children to inherit true wealth, make them financially literate.

I like this quote by American columnist Bob Talbert: “Teaching kids to count is fine but teaching them what counts is best.” The quote is pithy but it gets to the core of teaching fiscal responsibility.

What Parents Forget

If you look around, parents and teachers focus a lot on teaching mathematics—they send kids to Vedic Maths and Abacus classes to enable them to have numbers at their fingertips from a young age.

Parents also enroll their kids in drama, dance, singing, karate and other classes. But how many of us actually remember that when our kids enter the real world, the first thing they will confront is money?

Amidst all the classes, we forget an important life skill—financial literacy. Many of us probably pay our children pocket money but we don’t realise that this is not teaching them about the value of money or how to manage it. Some schools touch upon economics or basic finance courses, however, no school is equipped to analytically teach financial literacy to your kids.

What Exactly Is Financial Literacy?

It means understanding:

·         Income, expenses and savings

·         Budgets

·         Assets—real and financial—and liabilities

·         Risk management, insurance and its purpose

·         Investments and how to make money work for you

·         Taxation

·         How to handle situations such as disability, starting a business, inheritance

·         Wills, trusts, and intergenerational wealth transfer.

Money Lessons At Home

Most parents might touch on the concept of piggy banks and savings early on, but are usually reluctant to discuss the topic of money and family finances with their children.

In the Indian context, money is a touchy issue and in terms of discussing sensitive topics, ranks as high as sex education. Thus, it’s not surprising that most parents are loath to discussing it.

The Earlier The Better

The best way to teach kids about money is to let them deal with money early on. This is because as kids grow into teenagers they develop strong habits, which become hardwired because of peer pressure and the external environment.

This particularly happens beyond the 6th grade, when children face severe peer pressure. They want to buy gadgets, branded clothes and do many things that their friends are doing. Telling them to act sensibly and responsibly at this age might be a tall order if you have not inculcated good habits early on.

They need to understand the power of money and the consequences of their decisions. It’s far better that they commit mistakes at a young age with smaller amounts than commit financial blunders when they grow up. They will thus experience handling their own money and making decisions around it. I believe this is a strong competitive edge that you can give your children for their future financial success.

When’s A Good Time?

In my experience, kids between the age of 5 and 12 are receptive to financial literacy. Hence, it is best to start between 5 – 12 years of age. This is not to say that children above 12 do not appreciate financial literacy.

They certainly do, when the content is interesting, but it takes a little more time for them to understand the importance because they develop certain habits and are consumers by then. There will be constant demands, or emotional blackmail that most parents will be exposed to at some point of time.

You must understand that it’s natural for them to sometimes behave like this and is a part of growing up. The best part is that you can still teach them to be savvy savers, spenders, investors and givers.

Money Lessons For Kids

Common sense and some practical ideas is all you need to have to start teaching your children about money. The key learning points for kids should be:

·         Having healthy values about money

·         Setting goals and priorities

·         Thinking and making prudent choices

·         Not living for the weekend: delay instant gratification

·         Understanding the virtues of hard work.

The `How’ Part

There are often many real-life situations when you can teach your kids about money, considering that money is an integral part of our daily life.

·         Any time: Whenever you buy groceries or petrol or even pay school fees, you can teach children. If you have taken your son to an ATM, and he insists on pressing all the buttons like most kids, take this opportunity to discuss a few points about ATMs.

·         Special time: You can always set aside time to teach them the basics of money management. If you cannot, then you must seek professional help. It is far better to spend some money on financial education than allowing your children to develop irresponsible and dangerous money attitudes, behaviours and habits.

Finally, it is the parents’ responsibility to control what children buy and how much they spend. If parents fail in this critical test, no amount of money will be enough for their kids to spend when they grow up. We must realise that it is our mistake when we rush off to dress them in so-called designer outfits or spend several lakhs or thousands on their birthday parties without giving an iota of thought on the impact this has on the children’s minds.

Don’t forget that even though you might not be teaching your kids directly, they are constantly learning by just observing you.

[Written by: Mr. Amar Pandit]

7 Power Skills that Build Strong Relationships !!!

A strong, healthy relationship is one in which the partners show respect and kindness toward each other. The relationship forms a rewarding and enduring bond of trust and support. Here are seven power skills by Steve Brunkhorst that will help you form stronger alliances and bring more closeness, authenticity and trust to your relationships.

1. Relax Optimistically

If you are comfortable around others, they will feel comfortable around you. If you appear nervous, others will sense it and withdraw. If you are meeting someone for the first time, brighten up as if you’ve rediscovered a long-lost friend. A smile will always be the most powerful builder of rapport. Communicating with relaxed optimism, energy and enthusiasm will provide a strong foundation for lasting relationships.

2. Listen Deeply

Powerful listening goes beyond hearing words and messages; it connects us emotionally with our communication partner. Listen to what the person is not saying as well as to what he or she is saying. Focus intently and listen to the messages conveyed behind and between words.

Listen also with your eyes and heart. Notice facial expressions and body postures, but see beneath the surface of visible behaviors. Feel the range of emotions conveyed by tone of voice and rhythm of speech. Discern what the person wants you to hear and also what they want you to feel.

3. Feel Empathetically

Empathy is the foundation of good two-way communication. Being empathetic is seeing from another person’s perspective regardless of your opinion or belief. Treat their mistakes as you would want them to treat your mistakes. Let the individual know that you are concerned with the mistake, and that you still respect them as a person. Share their excitement in times of victory, and offer encouragement in times of difficulty. Genuine feelings of empathy will strengthen the bond of trust.

4. Respond Carefully

Choose emotions and words wisely. Measure your emotions according to the person’s moods and needs. Words can build or destroy trust. They differ in shades of meaning, intensity, and impact. What did you learn when listening deeply to the other individual? Reflect your interpretation of the person’s message back to them. Validate your understanding of their message.

Compliment the person for the wisdom and insights they’ve shared with you. This shows appreciation and encourages further dialogs with the individual. A response can be encouraging or discouraging. If you consider in advance the impact of your emotions and words, you will create a positive impact on your relationships.

5. Synchronize Cooperatively

When people synchronize their watches, they insure that their individual actions will occur on time to produce an intended outcome. Relationships require ongoing cooperative action to survive and thrive.

As relationships mature, the needs and values of the individuals and relationship will change. Career relationships will require the flexibility to meet changing schedules and new project goals. Cooperative actions provide synchrony and build trusting alliances. They are part of the give and take that empowers strong, enduring relationships.

6. Act Authentically

Acting authentically means acting with integrity. It means living in harmony with your values. Be yourself when you are with someone else. Drop acts that create false appearances and false security.

When you act authentically, you are honest with yourself and others. You say what you will do, and do what you say. Ask for what you want in all areas of your relationships. Be clear about what you will tolerate. Find out what your relationship partners want also. Being authentic creates mutual trust and respect.

7. Acknowledge Generously

Look for and accentuate the positive qualities in others. Humbly acknowledge the difference that people make to your life. Validate them by expressing your appreciation for their life and their contributions. If you let someone know that they are valuable and special, they will not forget you. Showing gratitude and encouragement by words and actions will strengthen the bonds of any relationship.

Don’t forget to acknowledge your most important relationship: the relationship with yourself. Acknowledge your own qualities, and put those qualities into action. You cannot form a stronger relationship with others than you have with yourself. You will attract the qualities in others that are already within you.

Ask yourself: What thoughts and behaviors will attract the kind of relationships I desire? What is one action I could take today that would empower my current relationships?

Write down all the qualities or behaviors that you desire for your relationships. Select the power skills that will attract those qualities. Keep a journal of the actions you take and the progress you make. By turning these skills into lifelong habits, you will build relationships that are healthy, strong and mutually rewarding.