- If your child is openly defiant, it is because you openly threaten to do something but dont follow through
- If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough
- If your child does not respect other people’s feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order and command them
- If your child is not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you have lost them
- If your child is too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehavior and you give little attention to good behavior
- If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don’t let them chose what they want.
- If your child is excerssively jealous, it is because you are only congratulate them when they successfully complete something and not when they improve at something even inf they don’t successfully complete it
- If your child is cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly.
- If your child does not stand up for themselves , it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.
- If your chiild is secretive, it is because they don’t trust that you won’t blow things out of propotion.
- If your child had poor self-esteem, it is because you advice them more than you encourage them.
- If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right
- If your child doesn’t listen to you but listens to others, it is because you are too quick to make decisions.
- If your child lies to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behavior.
- If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others and think its normal behavior.
Habit 1 — Be Proactive
You’re in Charge I am a responsible person. I take initiative. I choose my actions, attitudes, and moods. I do not blame others for my wrong actions. I do the right thing without being asked, even when no one is looking.
Habit 2 — Begin with the End in Mind
Have a Plan I plan ahead and set goals. I do things that have meaning and make a difference. I am an important part of my classroom and contribute to my school’s mission and vision. I look for ways to be a good citizen.
Habit 3 — Put First Things First
Work First, Then Play I spend my time on things that are most important. This means I say no to things I know I should not do. I set priorities, make a schedule, and follow my plan. I am disciplined and organized.
Habit 4 — Think Win-Win
Everyone Can Win I balance courage for getting what I want with consideration for what others want. I make deposits in others’ Emotional Bank Accounts. When conflicts arise, I look for third nkgernatives.
Habit 5 — Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Listen Before You Talk I listen to other people’s ideas and feelings. I try to see things from their viewpoints. I listen to others without interrupting. I am confident in voicing my ideas. I look people in the eyes when talking.
Habit 6 — Synergize
Together Is Better I value other people’s strengths and learn from them. I get along well with others, even people who are different than me. I work well in groups. I seek out other people’s ideas to solve problems because I know that by teaming with others we can create better solutions than anyone of us can alone. I am humble.
Habit 7 — Sharpen The Saw
Balance Feels Best I take care of my body by eating right, exercising and getting sleep. I spend time with family and friends. I learn in lots of ways and lots of places, not just at school. I find meaningful ways to help others.
Marriage really is a beautiful thing. I used to think it was a bit pointless, just a piece of paper that allows you an extra tax cut. However, the more I thought about it, the more I learned to appreciate what marriage could be.
Marriage gets a bad rap because most people are really bad at it. It’s not marriage’s fault. It’s the couples’ fault for being neither mature enough nor smart enough to manage.
I used to believe people couldn’t possibly promise to love someone else in 10, 20 years when neither their partners nor they will be the same people they are now. But that’s the point. We know that the future is filled with uncertainty.
Regardless, we still want that promise because it gives us courage to give ourselves to another without reservations.
You may not be able to keep that promise, but you can keep the promise to do your best to be an amazing life partner. That’s all anyone can really ask for. If you’re thinking about tying the knot then be sure that your future life partner to-be can honestly answer these questions to your liking:
- Why do you love me?People seem to feel this is a question that doesn’t especially need answering. Most will say we love others simply because we love them — a horrible answer. All people need to know exactly why it is that they love the people they love.
Loving someone is a very selfish act, and it’s okay. You love the person you love for what that person does for you and how he or she makes you feel.
We may all have slightly different answers as to why we love someone, but if we aren’t able to exactly define the parameters of our love, then we’re likely to struggle later on once the initial intensity dies down. If your partner can’t answer why he or she loves you now, then imagine the inevitable uncertainty down the road.
- Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?“Because I love you” is not a good answer. Life is a journey — one that is best not traveled entirely alone. However, not everyone has the same destination in mind. Wanting to take different pit stops along the route is one thing. Wanting different things out of life is another entirely.
Your partner should be able to tell you what life experiences he or she hopes to share with you. It’s these little goals you set for yourselves that make your life special.
- Will you do your best to keep the romance alive?Keeping the romance alive is not an easy task. Yes, it’s all mental, but keeping interest for such a long time is difficult. It takes a lot of work and creativity. It takes the other person regularly trying to please and impress you, which in itself becomes increasingly difficult with each new year.
Romantic love cannot survive on its own; both of you are going to have to maintain it constantly. Is your partner willing to keep the romance as one of his or her main priorities?
- Will you grow with me, and not away from me?We may not know exactly where our lives will take us and what we will learn — who we will become — along the way, but we can make a conscious effort to grow closer together and not apart.
Most people grow apart over the years because they feel like they’ve accomplished everything in their relationships that needs accomplishing.
This is one main reason marriages end up being so horrible — people think that there is no greater peak to climb than the one their relationship is already resting on. Marriage shouldn’t be the end, it should be the beginning.
- Will you stick through the rough times?The good times are a piece of cake. The difficult times, however, will destroy your relationship if you allow them to. There comes a point in every relationship when you have to make a decision. It’s a decision that, if made, is only made once. You will reach a point where you will either decide you are going to be there for this person for the rest of his or her life, or not.
If you decide you’re going to stick with this person then you can’t allow any tragedy or outside force to shake that decision. This is one of the most important decisions we make in our lives — or, as it often turns out, fail to make decisively. Has your lover made the decision? Have you?
- Are you willing to lose some battles in order to keep the peace?
The key to a successful marriage is taming your ego. No matter how competitive we are, sometimes you just need to pick your battles. Sometimes the arguments and the stress just aren’t worth it.
What you need to understand is that 99 percent of arguments aren’t arguments over fact, but rather over opinion. An opinion is neither right nor wrong. Sometimes you just have to let things be.
- Can you promise to put us ahead of everything else?
Life has a lot to offer. And if you’re anything like me, you have a very large appetite. We want everything life has to offer, and then some. The problem is we don’t have enough time to have it all; our lives are too short. We can only pick a few things we consider important and do our best to flourish in those areas.
The beauty of marriage is that it can be used as a base to build the rest of your life on. Your partner should be just that: your partner. Your relationship is the most important thing in your life because it’s what makes the rest of your life possible.
- Will you be a great parent?
Again, how could anyone know he or she will be a great parent? Easy. You just decide you’re going to be. That’s it. No tricks. No gimmicks. Just a decision and then action.
Some things don’t need too much thinking involved. You’re going to be great because you decided you will be. Will your lover do the same and be a great role model for your children?
- Will you be sure to remind me how much you love me regularly?People not only want, but need to hear it. We need to be reminded you love us because we know that love doesn’t always last forever. We want to hear the words and then have that reassurement reinforced with actions showing how much you love us.
It really is enough just to love us, but understand you need to love us the way we need to be loved — just like we need to love you the way you need to be loved in order for you to be happy.
- Can you promise to do all you can to keep that spark alive?Sparks don’t spark on their own. Think about how a lighter works. You have a spark that lights the fuel, which creates a flame. But how does that spark, spark? You have to create a force that will result in the energy creating a spark.
Just the same, you can’t expect sparks to keep flying if you’re not trying. If you want to have a happy and healthy marriage, then you need to find someone willing to devote the necessary energy.
- Will you support me if I can’t support myself?Not just financially, but mentally. Maybe even physically if necessary. No one knows what life holds. The unexpected happens, often leaving us weak, hurt or even permanently damaged. Will your partner carry you when you can’t walk?
Will your partner support you when you’re weak at the knees? Will your partner carry the family you’ve created until you regain your strength? Is your partner capable of mustering the strength to fight battles for the both of you?
- Will you promise to continue to pursue your personal goals and dreams?Marriage is not entirely the end of the person you were and the start of a new you. Sure, being in a serious relationship does require a person to change in many ways.
Yet, there’s a part of us we can never, under any circumstance, let go of. The dreams, wants and hopes we have — our personal goals — must stay alive.
When we lose them, we lose ourselves and inevitably lose the person we love. Marriage isn’t just an “us.” It’s also a you and him/her. You have to juggle being the person you have always been with being a part of a larger whole. It’s not easy. But it is necessary.
- Will you not allow yourself to let go?
Will your partner take care of him or herself by eating healthy and exercising? Will your partner get regular checkups and take vitamins? This may sound silly, but I’ve seen what letting yourself go can do to a marriage.
Moreover, I’ve seen how not maintaining your health can make the lives of those closest to you incredibly difficult.
Yes, your family should take care of you when you need to be taken care of — but it’s your responsibility first and foremost to take care of yourself. No people should become a burden to those they love.
- If I’m the first to go, will you be there with me until the end?Will your partner hold your hand when you’re too weak to hold it back? Will your partner kiss your forehead and tell you he or she loves you, that you made life worth living? That, because of you, life made sense? Will your partner be there for your last breath, when you find yourself pressed betwixt fear and content?
No one should leave this world alone. It’s said that we leave it the way we come into it, but even when we come into it, there’s someone there to hold us. I understand most people don’t like to think about death, but seeing as it’s an inevitability, it’s better to plan ahead.
- Can you promise me that if my time is cut short, you’ll continue to live on for the both of us?
You love this person. You want him or her to be happy regardless of whether he or she is with you or without you. If death collects you ahead of schedule, you’ll want to know during those last few seconds that the person you love will continue to live life to the fullest.
That your partner will continue to do great things, continue to be happy, and — if you have children — continue to love your children and guide them through life.
The death of a loved one can ruin you. It can break you in ways that make full-recovery impossible. Can your partner promise you to find the strength and courage to press forward?
I don’t know about you, but the last thing I’d want for the woman I love is for my departure to be her downfall. If my being in her life or leaving her life will in anyway destroy hers, then I clearly made a mistake by allowing myself into her life.
A woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground at West Coast park one fine Sunday Morning.
“That’s my son over there” she said, pointing to a little boy in a red T-shirt who was gliding down the slide.
“He’s a fine looking boy,” the man said. “That’s my son on the swing in the blue T-shirt.”
Then, looking at his watch, he called to his son.
“What do you say we go, Jack?”
Jack pleaded, “Just five more minutes, Dad. Please? Just five more minutes.”
The man nodded and Jack continued to swing to his heart’s content.
Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his son. “Time to go now?”
Again Jack pleaded, “Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes.”
The man smiled and said, “O.K.”
“My! You certainly are a patient father,” the woman responded.
The man smiled and then said, “My older son John was killed by a drunk driver last year, while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with John and now I’d give anything for just five more minutes with him. I’ve vowed not to make the same mistake with Jack. He thinks he has five more minutes to swing. The truth is, I get Five more minutes to watch him play.”
Life is not a race.
Life is all about making Priorities.
What are your priorities?
Give someone you love, FIVE more minutes of your time, no matter how busy you are and you will have no regret forever.
Once you have lost it, it shall be lost FOREVER….
Life can only be understood backwards; But it must be Lived forwards.
LIVE LIFE BEFORE YOU LEAVE LIFE…
FIVE More Minutes
We all have difficult people in our lives. You know-the ones you dread talking to; the ones you try to avoid at all costs. They may be your ex-spouse, a co-worker, or a family member; they may be a bully, a control freak, passive-aggressive or someone who loves to play the role of victim.
So, how do we deal with these people? How can we work together productively, whether in a parenting, a working, or a family relationship?Here are a few secrets to being able to keep your cool when dealing with that difficult person in your life:
1. Know Your Triggers
Self-knowledge is powerful.
We all have subjects and idiosyncrasies that push our buttons, and I can almost guarantee that the difficult person in your life knows what those are-but do you? Spend some time exploring what really ticks you off. Is it when somebody talks about politics, money, or your family?
Once you have your list of those trigger buttons, you are ready to arm yourself.
Create a plan. What will you do when the conversation steers dangerously close to one of your buttons?
You can practice deep breathing, take a short time-out, walk away from the conversation, or any combination of the three. Whatever allows you to center yourself and regain your focus on the purpose of the conversation will work.
2. The STOP Phrases
If you are having a conversation with a difficult person and you just want it to end, these phrases seem to do the trick (or at least take the wind out of the other person’s sails).”Sorry you feel that way.”
“That’s your opinion.”
“Oh.””Perhaps you’re right.”
If you just repeat these phrases over and over during the conversation, eventually the other person will give up trying to get you to join the argument.
3. Resist the Temptation to get Sucked In
Difficult people want to engage you: don’t fall for that trap. Listen to what you’re saying: are you trying to justify, argue, defend, or explain your position? If you are, stop. If you don’t, the conversation will just continue to go around in circles. You will never change the mind of a difficult person-otherwise you probably wouldn’t be seeing them as “difficult.”
4. The Big One
While the 3 secrets above can help you to avoid or get out of an uncomfortable conversation with a difficult person, there is one secret that can truly change your relationship with that person in your life: that secret is, that they are human, and are dealing with their own issues and their own crap that they’re bringing to the table.
Their difficult behaviors are benefiting them in some way that helps them deal with those issues, and most of the time their behavior has nothing to do with you.
A person might feel more secure when they are bullying someone or controlling others, or they might feel a sense of importance when they’re getting a lot of attention-even negative attention. They might try to gain a sense of belonging by playing the victim and getting others to help them, or someone who’s inflicting hurt and provoking hostility might be trying to protect his own sense of identity.
If we take the time to figure out what unconscious beliefs may be behind someone’s difficult behavior, we may be able to change our interaction with them and improve our relationship. Once you figure out what may be driving their behavior, you can begin to try different ways to help them get their emotional needs met without resorting to that behavior any longer.The main idea here is to tap into your empathy pool and realize that the person you see as the bane of your existence is just another human being trying to get along as best they can.
A Final Thought
Yes, sometimes we have to disengage in order to save our sanity, but keep in mind that everybody is doing the best they can with the emotional tools they have at their disposal. It is possible to get past our reactions to their difficult behaviors so that we may be able to do our part in building a calmer, more productive relationship, and in the end, this is all we can truly control-our own reactions.
You never know-one day, you may actually look forward to seeing these people.
1. A Loyal Best Friend
This is the kind of friend who lets you be a hot mess and knows all of your deepest and darkest secrets, but still loves you all the same.
2. A Fearless Adventurer
We all need an adventurous friend who will pull us out of our shells and introduce us to new ideas, cultures, philosophies, and activities.
3. A Brutally Honest Confidant
Friends are supposed to be honest with each other. If you find someone who is brutally honest with you (in a constructive way), then hold on to this person! People like that are hard to come by these days.
4. A Wise Mentor
We all need a friend who inspires us to be better people without making us feel inadequate. Plus, being around such a person will challenge us to better ourselves every day.
5. A Friend From a Different Culture
If everyone had a friend from a different culture, the world would be a much better place. Being in a cross-cultural friendship allows you to explore customs, values, and traditions outside of your own culture.
6. A Polar Opposite
Instead of constantly surrounding yourself with like-minded people, try to break out of your comfort zone and befriend people who hold opposing views. They will help open your eyes to different world views and you’ll learn to accept people who don’t see the world exactly the way you see it.
7. A Friendly Neighbor
These days, a lot of people don’t know their own neighbors. It’s a shame, because some neighbors can be the nicest and most helpful people ever.
8. A Work Pal
Your work pal doesn’t have to be your best friend outside of work. They just need to be someone you click with on some level, and if you two hit it off exceptionally well, you can always start hanging out with them outside of the office.
1. It is important to improve the flow of chi, that is, positive energy, through your bedroom in order to enjoy a harmonious intimate relationship. Hence, make it a point to keep it clean and tidy all the time. And this includes all the closets, side tables, shelves and every other storage space in your room.
2. To start with, clean out under your bed. Well, it will reduce the storage space, but having nothing under your bed is an effective way to keep your bedroom filled with positive vibes. Besides, it will help in all aspects of your life, not just in relationships.
3. Pick pieces that are red, pink and white in colours, such as white candles, red show pieces, and pink photo frame etc., while decorating your room, as these colour represent love and romance. However, ensure to decorate with pairs of items, and keep them united. According to the principles of Feng Shui, groups of two’s work best.
4. However, do not bring things that are not related to your personal life or sleep to your bedroom. Office files and folders, computers, laptops, television, family portraits, etc. should not be kept in your bedroom.
5. Bed should not be in a direct line with the doorway, and if it is there, it is advisable that you move it away from the line of the door as soon as possible. Also, keep all the bedroom doors, including the closet doors as well as bathroom doors, closed at night. This tip has proved its worth time and again, so try it!
6. Don’t keep the windows and curtain of your bedroom closed all the time. It is important to let fresh air and sunlight enter the room, so that when you enter your bedroom you feel good about it and have a deep feeling of being in your own nest, irrespective of its size and fancy dcor. So, open up the curtains and windows and let the natural light in. Also, paint the walls of your doors with light, pastel shades, which are easy on the eyes. After all, love cannot blossom in the dark!
7. Put a single mattress, wide enough to accommodate you and your beloved, on the bed. Do not sleep on a double bed with two different mattress, as this creates symbolic separation that could become real.
8. Windchime absorbs negative energy from the air and that is why it is advisable that you hang it outside your home to obstruct negativity entering your home. However. don’t hang a windchime over your bed as it may have attracted and absorbed negative energy during the day, and the negativity it has my jeopardise your love life.
9. Choose the images or artefacts you choose to put in your bedroom wisely, as they, especially images, carry powerful Feng Shui energy. Do not put things which may make you sad, lonely and nostalgic.
10. Put a mirror near the foot of the bed, as it cannot only multiply your fortune and happiness, but can also improve communication in your relationship, providing a soothing sense of completion of your goals. Whereas, a large round mirror on the wall above the headboard may reduce your tension and anxiety, and thus help you improve your relationship with your life partner.