Husband and Wife (Damn Fun)

Husband & Wife – Love Your Enemy

From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, “One month after
I die I want you to marry Samy.”
“Samy! But he is your enemy !” “Yes, I know that ! I’ve suffered all these
years so let him suffer now.”

Husband & Wife – Wedding Ring

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? ”
The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”

Husband & Wife – Why?

” Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I’d be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man’s arms.
” Why, Dad ? Tell me why!” Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, “Maybe, Son, she didn’t get the fax.”
Husband & Wife – Same Service

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.
Now after ten years it’s all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”
“Why complain?” said the counselor. “You’re still getting the same service!”
Husband & Wife – Talk About Husband

One woman told another : “My neighbour is always speaking ill of her husband, but look at me, my husband is foolish, lazy and a coward; but have I ever said anything bad about him?”
Husband & Wife – Love To Do

A wife, one evening, drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said,
“Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?”
“I would love to.” Replied the husband. “But I don’t know her well enough.”
Husband & Wife – No Answer Back

A man was telling his friends, “When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her.”
One of his friends asked.”And when you are angry, what do you do?” The man replied, “I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.
Husband & Wife – Come Home Late

A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.
“Take my advice,” said the neighbour, “and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o’clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: “Is that you, Jim?” And that cured him.
“Cured him !” asked the woman, “but how?” The neighbour said, “You see, his name is Bill.”
Husband & Wife – Problem Father

“You looked troubled,” I told my friend, “what’s your problem?” He replied,
“I’m going to be a father.” “But that’s wonderful,” I said. “What’s wonderful?
My wife doesn’t know about it yet.

Sensitivity – Inspiring Story[for Parents]

Value 1: Sensitivity

Divya came back from school and without even changing, she settled down next to her mother. With big tears floating in her lovely eye, she said, ‘I must have the latest Lady Bird cycle Mammas. All my friends have it, except me.” Aruna lovingly took her daughter close and tried to reason with her. “My dear, you already have one and it is not so old either, don’t you?” “yes, but ….”Divya tried to explain, but her tears just wouldn’t be stop. The little girl was quite dejected with her mother’s reaction to her demand for a cycle. She thought, “Mother is really mean. Am I asking for too much? It’s only a cycle.” That night, she fell asleep thinking about nothing else.

The next day was a Sunday. Aruna woke up Divya quite early and got her ready. She did not want to give Divya much time to think about what was going on. Nikhil, Divya’s father, was waiting for them in the car. The three enjoyed the ride and before long, they came to huge mansion. Within moments, a lovely lady?” Divya felt so shy, she hid behind her mother. Aruna greeted Mrs. Dilip with great warmth and affection.

Mrs. Dilip then took the three to a hall where there were about 50 children sitting in rows. Most of them were of around Divya’s age but some were as small as a year old. Two assistants were giving the children breakfast. Divya looked at her mother wondering where they had come. Aruna told her, “Divya, this is bal bhavan, an orphanage run by Mrs. Dilip. The children, you notice, are those whose parents either have abandoned them or have expired.” Divya couldn’t take her eyes off the children who were having their breakfast without a fuss. She remembered how she troubled her mother every morning at the breakfast table.

Later, Aruna and Divya walked around the orphanage. At the recreation room, Divya asked her mother, “Mamma, doesn’t each child own a toy?” just the question Aruna was waiting to hear! She said, “Divya, the children who live here are a little unfortunate. They are however lucky to be living in a place like the Bal bhavan. Sensitive and kind people like Mrs. Dilip are able to take care of their basic needs like food, clothing and shelter but orphanages usually do not have big funds for each child to own a toy.” Aruna continued, “We must learn to be thankful for whatever we have and moreover, be a little sensitive to the ones less fortunate than us by giving whatever little we can.”

A month went by. Divya’s class teacher called up Aruna and congratulated her on having raised such a sensitive and thoughtful child. Divya had spoken to her class about her trip to the Bal bhavan. All the children had collected almost three big cartons full of toys and storybooks to be gifted to their young friends at Bal bhavan. Aruna could not contain her tears and hugged her daughter when she came home.

Morel: Teach your children about how fortunate they are for what they have and develop sensitivity for other who are little unfortunate.

The Broken Pot [Self Esteem] – Inspiring Story

Once a water bearer in India had two large pots. He hung each pot at the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it. The other pot was perfect and carried the full portion of water up to the end of the long walk from the stream to the water bearer’s house. The cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily. The water bearer managed to carry only one and a half pots full of water to his house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud. “I am the best,” it would often say, smirking at the cracked pot.

Poor cracked pot grew more and more ashamed of its own imperfection. It felt miserable, for being able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what the cracked pot considered to be bitter failure, it spoke dejectedly to the water bearer one day. “Sir, I am ashamed of myself and I want to apologize to you.”

“Why?” asked the water bearer, “what are you ashamed of? “

“For the past two years, I have been able to deliver only half my load, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to our house. Due to my flaw, you have to do all of this work, and still don’t get full value from your effort, “the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot and said, “today, as we return to the house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path. “

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it somewhat. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, “did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side?” the pot nodded that it had seen so. “That’s because I have always known about your flaw and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path and everyday while we returned from the stream, you watered them unknowingly. For two years I have been able to pick those beautiful flowers to decorate my little girl’s room. Without you being just the way you are, I would not have this beauty to grace my house, “said the water bearer. The cracked water pot was no longer ashamed of itself.

Disciple Hood – Inspiring Stories

When the great Sufi mystic, Hasan, was dying, somebody asked

“Hasan, who was your master?”

He said, “I had thousands of masters. If I just relate their names it will

take months, years and it is too late. But three masters I will certainly

tell you about.

One was a thief. Once I got lost in the desert, and when I reached a

village it was very late, everything was closed. But at last I found one

man who was trying to make a hole in the wall of a house. I asked

him where I could stay and he said ‘At this time of night it will be

difficult, but you can stay with me – if you can stay with a thief’. And

the man was so beautiful. I stayed for one month! And each night he

would say to me, ‘Now I am going to my work. You rest, you pray.’

When he came back I would ask ‘Could you get anything?’ He would

say, ‘Not tonight. But tomorrow I will try again, God willing.’ He was

never in a state of hopelessness, he was always happy. When I was

meditating and meditating for years on end and nothing was

happening, many times the moment came when I was so desperate,

so hopeless, that I thought to stop all this nonsense. And suddenly I

would remember the thief who would say every night, ‘God willing,

tomorrow it is going to happen.’

And my second master was a dog. I was going to the river, thirsty and

a dog came. It was also thirsty. It looked into the river, it saw

another dog there — its own image — and became afraid. It would

bard and run away, but his thirst was so much that he would come

back. Finally, despite his fear, it just jumped into the water, and the

image disappeared. And I knew that a message had come to me from

God: one has to jump in spite of all fears.

And the third master was a small child. I entered a town and a child

was carrying a lit candle. He was going to the mosque to put the

candle there. ‘Just joking,’ I asked the boy, ‘have you lit the candle

yourself?’ He said, ‘Yes sir.’ And I asked, ‘There was a moment when

the candle was unlit, and then there was a moment when the candle

was lit. Can you show me the source from which the light came?’ And

the boy laughed, blew out the candle, and said, ‘Now you have seen

the light going. Where has it gone? You will tell me!’ My ego was

shattered; my whole knowledge was shattered. And that moment I felt

my own stupidity. Since then I dropped all my knowledge ability.

It is true that I had no master. That does not mean that I was not a

disciple — I accepted the whole existence as my master. My Disciple

hood was a greater involvement than yours is. I trusted the clouds,

the trees. I trusted existence as such. I had no master because I had

millions of masters I learned from every possible source. To be a

disciple is a must on the path. What does it mean to be a disciple? It

means to be able to learn, to be available to learn, to be vulnerable to

existence. With a master you start learning to learn.

The master is a swimming pool where you can learn how to

swim. Once you have learned, all the oceans are yours.”

Health Benefits of Consuming Dates

1) Dates are free from cholesterol and contain very low fat. Dates are rich in vitamins and minerals.

2) They are rich source of protein, dietary fiber and rich in vitamin B1, B2, B3 and B5 along with vitamin A1 and C.

3) It helps improve the digestive system as it contains soluble and insoluble fibers and different kinds of amino acids.

4) Dates are great energy boosters as they contain natural sugars like glucose, sucrose and fructose. To get more advantage add dates to milk and make it a very nutritious snack.

5) Dates are very low in calories and are extremely suitable  for health conscious people.

6) Dates are rich in potassium and reduced in sodium. This helps regulate a healthy nervous system. Researchers have revealed the fact that potassium intake up to a certain extent can reduce risk of stroke.

7) Dates also help in lowering of the LDL cholesterol.

8) Dates have high iron content and are very useful in treating anemia. The patients can eat many dates for better advantages.

9) Dates also have fluorine that slows down the process of tooth decay.

10) It helps people suffering from constipation. Soak dates overnight and take it along with water to have added advantage.

11) Dates help in weight gain and are beneficial for those who suffer from over slimming problem.

12) Dates are excellent for alcoholic intoxication.  Cures abdominal cancer.

13) It also helps in improving eye sight and helps in curing night blindness as well.

“The best thing is that it does not have any side effect on the body and is completely natural as well as it works better than medicine.”

Muda – Inspiring Story

A fantastic sentence written on every Japanese bus stop. Only buses will stop here Not your time. So Keep walking towards your goal. Japanese way of cost efficiency.

The Taj hotel group had invited Mr. Masai Imai from Japan to hold a workshop for its staff.   The staff were very skeptical – the hotel is doing excellent business, this person from Japan has no exposure to hotel industry – what exactly is he going to teach?   But everybody gathered as planned for the workshop in the conference hall sharp at 9 am.   Mr. Masai was introduced to them – a not so impressive personality, nor the English all that good; spoke as if he was first formulating each sentence in Japanese and then translating it into rather clumsy English.   “Good morning! Let’s start work. I am told this is a workshop; but I see neither work nor shop. So let’s proceed where work is happening. Let’s start with the first room on the first floor.”   Mr. Masai, followed by the senior management, the participants, the video camera crew trouped out of the conference room and proceeded to the destination.   That happened to be the laundry room of the hotel.   Mr. Masai entered the room and stood at the window, “beautiful view!” he said.   The staff knew it; they need not invite a Japanese consultant to tell them this!   “A room with such a beautiful view is being wasted as a laundry room. Shift the laundry to the basement and convert this into a guest room.”   Aa Haa! Now nobody had ever thought about that!   The manager said, “Yes, it can be done.”   “Then let’s do it,” Mr. Masai said.   “Yes sir, I will make a note of this and we will include it in the report on the workshop that will be prepared.” Manager   “Excuse me, but there is nothing to note down in this. Let’s just do it, just now.” Mr. Masai. “Just now?” Manager   “Yes, decide on a room on the ground floor/basement and shift the stuff out of this room right away. It should take a couple of hours, right?” asked Mr. Masai.   “Yes.” Manager.   “Let’s come back here just before lunch. By then all this stuff will have got shifted out and the room must be ready with the carpets, furniture etc. and from today you can start earning the few thousand that you charge your customers for a night.”   “Ok, Sir.” The manager had no option.   The next destination was the pantry. The group entered. At the entrance were two huge sinks full of plates to be washed.   Mr. Masai removed his jacket and started washing the plates.   “Sir, Please, what are you doing?” the manager didn’t know what to say and what to do.   “Why, I am washing the plates”, Mr. Masai.   “But sir, there is staff here to do that.” Manager Mr. Masai continued washing, “I think sink is for washing plates, there are stands here to keep the plates and the plates should go into the stands.”   All the officials wondered – did they require a consultant to tell them this?   After finishing the job, Mr. Masai asked, “How many plates do you have?’   “Plenty, so that there should never be any shortage.” answered the Manager.   Mr. Masai said, “We have a word in Japanese -‘Muda’. Muda means delay, Muda means unnecessary spending. One lesson to be learned in this workshop is to avoid both. If you have plenty of plates, there will be delay in cleaning them up. The first step to correct this situation is to remove all the excess plates.”   “Yes, we will say this in the report.” Manager.   “No, wasting our time in writing the report is again an instance of ‘Muda’. We must pack the extra plates in a box right away and send these to whichever other section of Taj requires these. Throughout the workshop now we will find out where all we find this ‘Muda’ hidden.”   And then at every spot and session, the staff eagerly awaited to find out Muda and learn how to avoid it.

On the last day, Mr. Masai told a story.   “A Japanese and an American, both fond of hunting, met in a jungle. They entered deep jungle and suddenly realized that they had run out of bullets. Just then they heard a lion roaring. Both started running. But the Japanese took a short break to put on his sports shoes.   The American said, “What are you doing? We must first get to the car.”   The Japanese responded, “No. I only have to ensure that I remain ahead of you.”   All the participants engrossed in listening to the story,  realized suddenly that the lion would stop after getting his victim!

“The lesson is: competition in today’s world is so fierce, that it is important to stay ahead of other, even by just a couple of steps. And you have such a huge and naturally well endowed country. If you remember to curtail your production expenditure and give the best quality always, you will be miles ahead as compared to so many other countries in the world.”, concluded Mr. Masai.   It is never late to learn……..