The Search For Happiness And A Perfect Relationship

Throughout history, human beings have desired and searched for two things, happiness and a perfect relationship.

There is an old truth, “You cannot search for what, you have not already had or known.” In other words, our search is motivated by a deep subconscious memory of the original, perfect and eternal relationship with our Friend, Guide and Parent, the One remembered as God, Allah, Ishwar, Jehovah, etc. It is only when our relationship with this Being is restored that we can experience true happiness or bliss. Bliss is the deepest spiritual happiness we can experience. It is experienced only when we are free of all attachment, when we no longer misidentify with anything physical and when our inner mental state is not dependent on anything or anyone.

At its highest level, our relationship with God is pure and non-dependent, and therefore blissful. Deep within the soul, there is a memory of the bliss of this perfect union and it is the deepest motivation in our search for the perfect relationship, for the perfect happiness. However, instead of seeking at the level of spirit, we seek at the level of mind (personality) and body. We search in those around us for the perfect partner – our soul mate. It is not incorrect to have worldly relationships, but there needs to be a deep realization inside each one of us that our true soul mate, is the One with whom we can have an ever-lasting, eternal relationship, the One with whom we have the deepest eternal bond (over a period of many births), the One from whom we will experience everlasting, eternal, unconditional attainments.

We are all human beings, and nobody is perfect in this universe. Not necessary that our life partner will be as per our wish / rules & regulations! Compromise and adjustments only can maintain a long lasting & good relationship. Kindly, therefore, do not search for perfection in your soul-mate to lead a Happy Life!

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Taking Charge Of Your Responses In Close Relationships

In relationships with your loved ones, when looking at the other, sometimes positive emotions are generated and sometimes negative. On the one hand, joy, love and happiness is generated on being with them; but then attachment, dependency and expectations are generated.

In such situations, you are more focused on others and are always looking at the other person’s behavior, you stop seeing yourself and being aware of your reactions and taking the responsibility for the responses that you create.

You get frustrated when the other person does not meet your expectations. As you depend on them, if they don’t act as you would like, if they don’t reach home or call you at the time you would like; all this frustrates you. You radiate this energy to the other: “they are not doing what they should be doing,” and so you feel frustrated and discontented.

All the while that you hold the other one responsible for your frustration, you are not in charge of your own reactions, because you have given power to the other to dominate your emotional world. It is there that you lose your freedom. You lose your freedom because you give to the other, in the name of love, power over your own moods. You allow the others’ energy to enter your inner world and cause inside you frustration, bad moods, irritation, sorrow and a mental and emotional dependence where you are constantly thinking about where they are, what they have to do, what they have to say, where they have to go, and all this consumes a lot of your mental energy. Wanting to control the other and the frustration that it brings with it uses up a lot of emotional energy.

Never try to control other’s life e.g. some parents try to control their kids (life) even after their marriage and thus create lot of confusions. Instead of trying to change everyone, let us change ourselves to live a Happy Life as also allowing others!