The core message of Jiddu Krishnamurthy

The core of Krishnamurti’s teaching is contained in the statement he made in 1929 when he said, “Truth is a pathless land”. Man cannot come to it through any organization, through any creed, through any dogma, priest or ritual, not through any philosophical knowledge or psychological technique. He has to find it through the mirror of relationship, through the understanding of the contents of his own mind, through observation and not through intellectual analysis or introspective dissection.

Man has built in himself images as a fence of security—religious, political, personal. These manifest as symbols, ideas, beliefs. The burden of these images dominates man’s thinking, his relationships, and his daily life. These images are the causes of our problems for they divide man from man. His perception of life is shaped by the concepts already established in his mind. The content of his consciousness is his entire existence. The individuality is the name, the form and superficial culture he acquires from tradition and environment. The uniqueness of man does not lie in the superficial but in complete freedom from the content of his consciousness, which is common to all humanity. So he is not an individual.

Freedom is not a reaction; freedom is not choice. It is man’s pretence that because he has choice he is free. Freedom is pure observation without direction, without fear of punishment and reward. Freedom is without motive; freedom is not at the end of the evolution of man but lies in the first step of his existence. In observation one begins to discover the lack of freedom. Freedom is found in the choiceless awareness of our daily existence and activity.

Thought is time. Thought is born of experience and knowledge, which are inseparable from time and the past. Time is the psychological enemy of man. Our action is based on knowledge and therefore time, so man is always a slave to the past. Thought is ever limited and so we live in constant conflict and struggle. There is no psychological evolution. When man becomes aware of the movement of his own thoughts, he will see the division between the thinker and thought, the observer and the observed, the experiencer and the experience. He will discover that this division is an illusion. Then only is there pure observation which is insight without any shadow of the past or of time. This timeless insight brings about a deep, radical mutation in the mind.

Total negation is the essence of the positive. When there is negation of all those things that thought has brought about psychologically, only then is there love, which is compassion and intelligence

Top 10 Reasons to SMILE…

1. Smiling Makes Us Attractive
We are drawn to people who smile. There is an attraction factor. We want to know a smiling person and figure out what is so good. Frowns, scowls and grimaces all push people away — but a smile draws them in.

2. Smiling Changes Our Mood
Next time you are feeling down, try putting on a smile..�There’s a good chance you mood will change for the better. Smiling can trick the body into helping you change your mood.

3. Smiling Is Contagious
When someone is smiling they lighten up the room, change the moods of others, and make things happier. A smiling person brings happiness with them. Smile lots and you will draw people to you.

4. Smiling Relieves Stress
Stress can really show up in our faces. Smiling helps to prevent us from looking tired, worn down, and overwhelmed. When you are stressed, take time to put on a smile. The stress should be reduced and you’ll be better able to take action.

5. Smiling Boosts Your Immune System
Smiling helps the immune system to work better. When you smile, immune function improves possibly because you are more relaxed. Prevent the flu and colds by smiling

6. Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure
When you smile, there is a measurable reduction in your blood pressure. Give it a try if you have a blood pressure monitor at home. Sit for a few minutes, take a reading. Then smile for a minute and take another reading while still smiling. Do you notice a difference?

7. Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin
Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin. Together these three make us feel good. Smiling is a natural drug.

8. Smiling Lifts the Face and Makes You Look Younger
The muscles we use to smile lift the face, making a person appear younger. Don’t go for a face lift, just try smiling your way through the day — you’ll look younger and feel better.

9. Smiling Makes You Seem Successful
Smiling people appear more confident, are more likely to be promoted, and more likely to be approached. Put on a smile at meetings and appointments and people will react to you differently.

10. Smiling Helps You Stay Positive
Try this test: Smile. Now try to think of something negative without losing the smile. It’s hard.. When we smile our body is sending the rest of us a message that “Life is Good!” Stay away from depression, stress and worry by smiling.

The Qualities of a Good Leader

To be a good leader means that you can inspire others to follow your example, willingly and cheerfully. A good leader will both inspire confidence and give a strong example of what we should aim for. These are the characteristics of a good leader.

Lead by example: If you wish your workforce to be hard working and diligent, it is important that you live up to your own ideals. There is a saying “I would never ask anybody to do something I wouldn’t do myself”. If your workforce see you arriving late and being unprofessional, it will make it much more difficult for them to follow your advice.

Humility: To lead we need to encourage others to act in a certain way. However, if we try to lead through our inflated ego people will not respect us. Rather than stressing your self, try to lead through stressing certain principles. People will be much more willing to follow a leader who embodies humility.

Appreciate your Co Workers: To be a good leader, you cannot underestimate the importance of offering gratitude to those who are trying hard to do the right thing. If people get appreciation then it will definitely encourage them to continue doing the right thing. At the same time, our appreciation should be sincere. We should not flatter but look for something good a person has done.

Have a Clear vision: Often to lead you will need to overcome the resistance to change. If people have been doing something for a long time then they have an instinctive aversion to implementing new ideas. To introduce a new way of doing things you have to have the confidence and belief in the new way. People will definitely pick up on the belief that you have in your own vision.

Avoid arguments: If people criticize your approach, often the best thing to do is not get involved in arguments. You can listen to their criticism politely and thank them for their concern, but often the best approach is just to focus on the new approach; look forward and don’t feel the need to defend yourself. This gives your vision certain nobility.

Listen to others: A good leader should try to feel part of his team rather than superior, if you listen to others, they will definitely appreciate it. Often you may find that your workers have good ideas that you can incorporate. Even if they have unworkable ideas, it is still worth giving the impression you value their opinions, even if they are not used.

Create a positive atmosphere: If you try to lead through creating a climate of fear, or competition, you will undoubtedly create problems. If you can lead whilst maintaining a positive attitude, it will definitely bear fruits in the long run.

Don’t take yourself too seriously: There is no harm in admitting you can be wrong, or making a joke at your own expense. People will appreciate a leader who can admit a mistake it is after all a human quality. But, just don’t make a habit of it.

Tips to be a better Mother

It goes without saying that mothers have an important role to play in their children’s lives. Here are a few tips on how you can be a better parent to your child:

Respect and value your child:

Always respect your children — respect and listen to their views and values, their opinions. Give them your complete attention when they want to talk to you. Put whatever activity you are engaged in on hold, and if that’s not possible, set a time for when you can chat, and make sure to stick to it.

Encourage your children every opportunity you get. Make them feel special and express your love for them often. Hug them, kiss them and say ‘I love you’ everyday, not just when they are young but also as they grow older. Let them feel your love and affection as often as you can.

Talk to your kids:

Conversing with children is the best way to influence their ability and love for learning. Children who are spoken to often as infants will understand more words when they are toddlers and pre-schoolers than others. Communication also strengthens the mother-child bond and eases out the communication barriers, even as kids grow older.

Have fun with them:

Mothers are so busy with their day-to-day routines that they forget to have fun with their children. Take out one-on-one time to enjoy with your child. Do something that both of you like — indulge in outdoor games, art and craft, board games, go for a walk, chat, cook — do anything at all that makes you feel good. Laugh together, tickle each other, dance, sing songs, just have FUN!

Read to your little ones:

Reading to your children is the best way to inculcate a reading habit in them, which leads to a love of learning as they grow older. Reading also creates an emotional bond between parent and the child, whether it’s lap-time reading, bedtime reading or any other way of doing it that you both enjoy. Moreover, it develops their imagination, creativity, vocabulary and communication skills.

Keep your children safe:

All parents want to keep their kids safe. Remember to take the necessary precautions, whether it is making them sit in the backseat of the car while driving, or making sure that there is someone responsible with them at all times. Make sure your home is childproof, with electrical outlets out of reach, furniture edges rounded off, glass items out of the way etc.

Teach your children values:

Make sure to impart good values to your kids — it’s the best gift you’ll ever give them. Values are the foundation of a child’s character. Teach your children values through everyday interactions, stories and by the way you conduct yourself. While story-telling, however, make sure you don’t connect the story to the child. If, for example, you want to teach your little one about honesty, tell him/ her interesting stories related to it. Do not say, “You should behave in the same manner as so-and-so did and always tell the truth” — the message will not sink in. To a youngster, this feels like nagging and moralizing, which will go in one ear and out the other.

Be a good role model:

Remember that your kids are watching you all the time and want to ape you in every possible way. Even very young children take in and listen to everything their parents say and do, so remain aware of your actions and behavior around them. For example, if you talk rudely to the domestic help, you will not be very successful in teaching your children the value of politeness. Model the behavior that you want them to develop.

Keep your kids healthy, but allow them their personal likes and dislikes when it comes to food:

Provide nutritious meals for your children, but allow them to make their own choices about what they like or don’t like. As long as you are providing them with nutritious options and not junk food, they will almost always make the right choices. With young children, try and be creative with their meals, so that it’s fun for them. If, for instance, there is cooked vegetable and chapattis for dinner, fold some cooked veggies into each chapatti so that the kids can enjoy it as a roll.

Set rules and limits:

A good mother is firm and flexible. Don’t leave discipline only to a child’s father. Set reasonable rules and limits and discuss them with your kids beforehand. Follow through with the consequences whenever applicable. However, there are times when you have to be flexible and ease the rules; times when youngsters are tired, sleepy, hungry or not well.

Be just and fair:

Treat all your children in the same manner. However, don’t try to be overly fair, as it will get in the way — for example, if you are out shopping and spot a book that one of your kids needs for a reference project, you do not necessarily have to buy something for the other child. Similarly, bring the other child what he/ she requires when it’s needed. As long as you are providing for both of them equally, they will understand and not make an issue. When you try to be overly fair, children tend to find faults with every little thing you do.

Don’t interfere in your children’s fights unless it’s necessary:

Allow your kids to settle issues on their own. As long as there is no bullying or physical violence, do not get involved in their fights. When you try to resolve their disputes, you will be required to take sides and this will not go down well with one of them. It is better to allow children to handle their own problems as far as possible. If they are not able to do it, or you feel like the situation is getting to you, ask them to play separately till they are able to be civil to each other and find a solution. You will be doing them a favor by teaching them the values of co-operation, problem-solving and compromise in the process.

Honor their father:

One of the best things a mother can do is Honor her children’s father in front of them. Even if you are separated or divorced, never speak ill about your spouse in front of your children. Talk about him with respect and teach your children to respect him too.

Get the kids to interact with extended family:

Get your children to bond with extended family — uncles, aunts, cousins. Make an effort so that they interact with both the maternal and paternal sides. Even if you don’t get along with your in-laws, teach your children to respect their grandparents. They will hold you in higher esteem for doing that.

Keep your self-respect intact:

Always expect to be treated with respect by others in the presence of your kids and by your kids themselves. Do not allow anyone to cross a line. Maintain your dignity under all circumstances; be honest and keep your integrity intact always.

Take care of yourself:

Sleep well and take out time for yourself. Keep yourself in good health. Remember, a happy, relaxed mother can give more of herself to her children and family than an overworked, tense parent.