20 New Management Styles – Fun

1) MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THEN THE EMPLOYEES
These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. “We’ll have to talk” you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner.
 
2) MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW
These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out  of the windows.
 
3) MANAGING BY POST-IT’S
Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their ‘busy’ness by continuously writing on Post-it’s while you are talking.
 
4) MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY
These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. If He is good, He knows what she must do.
 
5) MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING
These managers don’t really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevant cases.
 
6) MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING
These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them: They will always have something to talk about.
 
7) MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION
Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret kept information. You must be very thankful to get any information at all. Beware of simulants from category 5!
 
8) MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS
These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else they got more work to do.
 
9) MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS
In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on.
 
10) MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS
If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career anymore.
 
11) MANAGING BY STUDYING
Despite their continual attendances of all kind of studies and congresses, they still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, the further they get from the practice.
 
12) MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE OVERHEAD SHEETS
Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows, boxes or circles? These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance.
 
13) MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM
This is a major improvement of the older ‘OPEN DOOR’ management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knows where these managers are.
 
14) MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MANAGERS
This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a few hours the same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes.
 
15) MANAGING BY HAVING A NON SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE
In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are really necessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization from having a better infrastructure.
 
16) BUA MANAGEMENT (BY USING ABBREVIATIONS)
This management style is ATRASACWOC. ( Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication)
 
17) MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS
These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly undefined, terms.
 
18) MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION
If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize.
 
19) MANAGING BY BELIEVING
These managers must be spiritual educated, because they have no clues at all.
 
20) MANAGING BY FORGETTING PROMISES
If you remind them to one of their promisses, the priority of that promise is to low to remember.

Local Call in India – Fun and Joke

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the World.
So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to China. On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read ‘$10,000 per call’. The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Japan. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in China and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he Could talk to God. ‘ O.K., thank you,’ said the American.
He then traveled to Pakistan , Sri Lanka , Russia , Germany and France .. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same ‘$10,000 per call’ sign under it. The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to up to India to see if Indians had the same phone.
He arrived in India , and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read
‘One Rupee per call.’
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. ‘Father, I’ve traveled all over World and I’ve seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I’m told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call.Why is it so cheap here?’
The priest smiled and answered, ‘You’re in India now, Son – it’s a Local Call’. This is the only heaven on the Earth.

Message in a Bottle – Nice Story

A man was strolling along the beach one day when he spotted a bottle washed up on the shore. He went over and picked it up, and noticed a message in the bottle. He popped the cork out and inside was a weathered treasure map indicating that there was buried treasure to be found in the shallow waters below. But the man thought it was a hoax, so he slipped the map back in and threw the bottle back into the ocean…
A little later, another man was walking along the beach and the bottle had washed upon the shore. He too picked up the bottle, popped out the cork, and found the treasure map.
This man, however, was curious enough to wade into the water and hoped it was buried shallow enough to find. But once the cold ocean waters reached up to his thighs, he decided to quit. “This is not worth it!” he thought to himself. So he scrambled back to shore and chucked the bottle back into the ocean….
A third man was walking by the beach and noticed the bottle washed upon the shore. He went over, opened the bottle and found the map. The map looked authentic enough, and promised great treasure… So he got himself a small raft and set out into the ocean to claim the treasure..he rowed out far enough into the ocean where the “X” on the map was and to his surprise, he saw the glint of something shining in the waters below..he dove into the ocean and swam towards the shining object below..
He could see that there was something that looked like a treasure chest, but he couldn’t quite reach it and the deeper he went, the greater the cold and pressure on his body and his mind..,” I am about to lose my breath, and the longer I take, my raft might be swept away!”, he thought. So the man decided to give up the hunt so he would ensure his own life and safety..when he reached the shore once more, he took the bottle from the raft and tossed it back into the ocean…
Finally, one more man was walking along the beach. He noticed the bottle, went over, popped it open, and was excited to find a map promising great treasure. He noticed someone had left a raft by the water’s edge, so he took it and paddled out. He too, got far enough to where the “X” marks the spot, and squinted into the waters and saw the shadow and glint of the treasure below.
He took a deep breath and plunged into the waters. Like the man before him, the cold, darkness and pressure upon his senses increased as he got closer. He also realized that if he kept swimming, that he might lose his breath, the raft, and even his own life! But this treasure could be worth all the risk and he persisted. Just as he was about to give up, he grabbed the long chain that was binding the chest and pulled it up along with himself back to the surface.
He broke the surface of the water gasping and exhausted but with the treasure chest safely in his grasp. He paddled back to the shore, opened up the treasure chest and found what the map had promised–gold, and precious diamonds and jewels that would make him secure for the rest of his life.

A man was strolling along the beach one day when he spotted a bottle washed up on the shore. He went over and picked it up, and noticed a message in the bottle. He popped the cork out and inside was a weathered treasure map indicating that there was buried treasure to be found in the shallow waters below. But the man thought it was a hoax, so he slipped the map back in and threw the bottle back into the ocean…

A little later, another man was walking along the beach and the bottle had washed upon the shore. He too picked up the bottle, popped out the cork, and found the treasure map.

This man, however, was curious enough to wade into the water and hoped it was buried shallow enough to find. But once the cold ocean waters reached up to his thighs, he decided to quit. “This is not worth it!” he thought to himself. So he scrambled back to shore and chucked the bottle back into the ocean….

A third man was walking by the beach and noticed the bottle washed upon the shore. He went over, opened the bottle and found the map. The map looked authentic enough, and promised great treasure… So he got himself a small raft and set out into the ocean to claim the treasure..he rowed out far enough into the ocean where the “X” on the map was and to his surprise, he saw the glint of something shining in the waters below..he dove into the ocean and swam towards the shining object below.. He could see that there was something that looked like a treasure chest, but he couldn’t quite reach it and the deeper he went, the greater the cold and pressure on his body and his mind..,” I am about to lose my breath, and the longer I take, my raft might be swept away!”, he thought. So the man decided to give up the hunt so he would ensure his own life and safety..when he reached the shore once more, he took the bottle from the raft and tossed it back into the ocean…

Finally, one more man was walking along the beach. He noticed the bottle, went over, popped it open, and was excited to find a map promising great treasure. He noticed someone had left a raft by the water’s edge, so he took it and paddled out. He too, got far enough to where the “X” marks the spot, and squinted into the waters and saw the shadow and glint of the treasure below.

He took a deep breath and plunged into the waters. Like the man before him, the cold, darkness and pressure upon his senses increased as he got closer. He also realized that if he kept swimming, that he might lose his breath, the raft, and even his own life! But this treasure could be worth all the risk and he persisted. Just as he was about to give up, he grabbed the long chain that was binding the chest and pulled it up along with himself back to the surface. He broke the surface of the water gasping and exhausted but with the treasure chest safely in his grasp. He paddled back to the shore, opened up the treasure chest and found what the map had promised–gold, and precious diamonds and jewels that would make him secure for the rest of his life.

Moral: Every body sees the opportunity but it will reward only those who are ready to risk for it.

‘No time to feel sorry for myself’ – Inspirig Lifes

“I’ve so much work to do — to study, do my assignments and read… Life is too hectic for me to sit down and think about what I don’t have. Just no time to regret, man,” says Radebe Samkelo.
The positive attitude of this 20-year-old South African high jumper and law student is heart-warming given that he lost both hands when he was 9.
Samkelo, here for the world paralympics meet at the Kanteerava Stadium, recalls that terrible day in a Johannesburg colony. “My friends and I were playing near my home when an electric wire fell on me. I was knocked out and opened my eyes couple of days later in the ICU. I couldn’t move an inch. I couldn’t see or feel a thing.”
He goes on: “The doctors said both hands had to be amputated, else I wouldn’t live as the disease would travel all over my body. It was my hands or my life — I chose life.”
Samkelo came to terms with it quickly: “It affected my parents more than me. I told myself that I’d saved my life by giving up my hands. It was this realization and acceptance that helped me.”
He stayed home for almost nine months, with hospital visits every now and then.
Later, he went back to school again and took up athletics, with high jump a favourite event.
“My friends looked after me well in school and gave me the strength to explore options. I told myself I wouldn’t feel ashamed and do what I liked — study and athletics.”
Samkelo is currently a second-year law student at the University of Johannesburg and also earned the right to represent South Africa at these games.
So, what his daily routine? “I go to the gym in the morning, then to class and for the running sessions. Weekends, I study and do my assignments. I did things by trial and error, learnt all things by myself. I cook, I clean and I drive. I even have a licence.” He drives a manual-geared car, his dad’s Toyota Corolla, and an Opel Astra.
Samkelo listens to House music, Kwaito – township music, gospel, R & B, hip hop and of course Akon. He loves horror movies, comedies and soccer. “Live life to the fullest — it’s not about what you have or don’t have in life, but what you do.”
He goes on: “I’ve never been depressed or disappointed. I rather appreciate life better now and make the best of it. I make sure I’m happy at the end of the day, every day. ‘Just do it’ is my way of looking at things.”

The difference between the poor countries. Think and Act!!

The difference between the poor countries and the rich ones is not at the age of the country.
 
This can be shown by countries like India and Egypt which are more than 2000 years old and are poor.
 
On the other hand, Canada, Australia and New Zealand, that 150 years ago were inexpressive, today are developed countries and are rich.
 
The difference between poor and rich countries does not reside in the available natural resources.
 
Japan has a limited territory, 80% mountainous, inadequate for agriculture and cattle raising, but it is the second world economy. The country is like an immense floating factory, importing raw material from the whole world and exporting manufactured products.
 
Another example is Switzerland, which does not plant cocoa but has the best chocolate of the world. In its little territory they raise animals and plants the soil during 4 months per year. Not enough, they produce dairy products of the best quality. It is a small country that transmits and image of security, order and labour, which made it the world’s strong safe.
 
Executives from rich countries who communicate with their counter parts in poor countries show that there is no significant intellectual difference.
 
Race or skin colour are also not important: immigrants labeled lazy in their countries of origin are the productive power in rich European counties.
 
What is the difference then??
 
The difference is the attitude of the people, framed along the years by the education and the culture.
 
On analyzing the behaviour of the people in rich and developed countries, we find that the great majority follow the following principles in their lives:
 
1. Ethics, as the basic principle
2. Integrity
3. Responsibility
4. Respect to the laws and rules
5. Respect to the right of other citizens
6. Work loving
7. Strive for saving and investment
8. Will of super action
9. Punctuality
 
In poor countries, only a minority follow these basic principles in their daily life.
 
We are not poor because we lack natural resources or because nature was cruel to us.
 
We are poor because we lack attitude.
 
We lack the will to comply with and teach these functional principles of rich and developed societies.

Among the many angels – nice sotry

Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born.

So one day it asks God,”They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?”

God replied, “Among the many angels, I chose one just for you.

She will be waiting for you and will take good care of you”.

“But tell me, here in heaven, I don’t do anything else but smile and sing, that’s enough for me to be happy.”

God said, “Your angel will sing for you and will also smile every day. And you will feel your angel’s love and be happy.”

“And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don’t know the language that men talk?”

God said, “Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.”

“And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?”

God said, “Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.”

“I’ve heard that on earth there are bad men, who will protect me?”

God said, “Your angel will defend you even if it means risking it’s life.”

“But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.”

God said, “Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you.”

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard, and the child in a hurry asked softly, “Oh God, if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel’s name.”

God silenced all fear when He said, “your angel’s name is of no importance.”

“You will simply call her ‘Mummy’.”

The Emperor

The Emperor

  

 

An emperor in the Far East was growing old and knew it was time to choose his successor. Instead of choosing one of his assistants or his children, he decided something different. He called young people in the kingdom together one day. He said, “It is time for me to step down and choose the next emperor. I have decided to choose one of you.”

 

The kids were shocked! But the emperor continued. “I am going to give each one of you a seed today. One very special seed. I want you to plant the seed, water it and come back here after one year from today with what you have grown from this one seed. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next emperor!”

 

One boy named Ling was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly told his mother the story. She helped him get a pot and planting soil, and he planted the seed and watered it carefully. Every day he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks, some of the other youths began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

 

Ling kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. 3 weeks, 4 weeks, 5 weeks went by. Still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants but Ling didn’t have a plant, and he felt like a failure. Six months went by, still nothing in Ling’s pot. He just knew he had killed his seed.

 

Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Ling didn’t say anything to his friends, however. He just kept waiting for his seed to grow.

 

A year finally went by and all the youths of the kingdom brought their plants to the emperor for inspection. Ling told his mother that he wasn’t going to take an empty pot. But honest about what happened, Ling felt sick to his stomach, but he knew his mother was right.

 

He took his empty pot to the palace. When Ling arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other youths. They were beautiful in all shapes and sizes. Ling put his empty pot on the floor and many of the other kinds laughed at him. A few felt sorry for him and just said, “Hey nice try.”

 

When the emperor arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted the young people. Ling just tried to hide in the back. “What great plants, trees and flowers you have grown,” said the emperor. “Today, one of you will be appointed the next emperor!” All of a sudden, the emperor spotted Ling at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered his guards to bring him to the front. Ling was terrified. “The emperor knows I’m a failure! Maybe he will have me killed!”

 

When Ling got to the front, the Emperor asked his name. “My name is Ling,” he replied. All the kids were laughing and making fun of him. The emperor asked everyone to quiet down. He looked at Ling, and then announced to the crowd, “Behold your new emperor! His name is Ling!” Ling couldn’t believe it. Ling couldn’t even grow his seed. How could he be the new emperor?

 

Then the emperor said, “One year ago today, I gave everyone here a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds, which would not grow. All of you, except Ling, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Ling was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new emperor!”