I’ve just quit drinking – Award Winning Joke

Banta Singh walks into a bar in Ludhiana & orders three glasses of Beer and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender asks him, “You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you bought one at a time.”

Banta Singh replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canada, and I’m here in Ludhiana. When they left home, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.”

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. Banta Singh becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the sameway.  He orders three Beers and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders only two Beers. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,” I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I  wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.”

Banta Singh looks confused for a moment, then alight dawns in his eye and he laughs. “Oh, no,” he, says, “Everyone’s fine – both my brothers  are alive”.






“Only thing is —- I’ve just quit drinking”!!!!!!

Advertisements

Someone has stolen our tent – Award Winning Joke

A MBA and an Engineer go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep.

Some hours later, the Engineer wakes his MBA friend. “Look up at the sky and tell me what you see?”

The MBA replies, “I see millions of stars.”

The Engineer asks “What does that tell you?”

The MBA ponders for a minute:

“Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”

The Engineer friend is silent for a moment, and then speaks.

“Practically…it tells me that someone has stolen our tent”.

I believed my Mother!!

There was a girl by the name of Wilma Rudolph who was born immaturely in a black family, her weight being around two kilograms at the time of her birth.

She was crippled by polio during her early childhood.

One doctor told her mother that the condition couldn’t be cured. But the doctor’s verdict wouldn’t affect the mother.

Wilma says while bringing back the memories of her childhood, ‘The doctor said I would never walk again, my mother said I would. I believed my mother”.

Wilma’s mother found out that there was a hospital some eight kilometers from her place where her daughter could be treated. Wilma’s mother took her daughter there twice weekly for two years on end.

After two years’ treatment, Wilma was able to walk with the help of crutches.

Finally, at the age of twelve, she began walking normally without crutches.

At the age or sixteen, in the 1956 Olympics she won a bronze in the 4 x 4 relay.

In the 1960 Olympics, she become the first American woman to win three gold medals in the Olympics.

Inspiring Quotes – 04

  • To achieve something you have never acheived before, you must do something you have never done before.
  • In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments; only consequences.
  • “First I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream” – Vincent Van Gogh
  • The tragedy in life doesn’t lie in not reaching the goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
  • When one’s desire is intense enough; a normal, ordinary person will appear to posses superhuman powers.
  • The mind in its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell and a hell of heaven. – John Milton
  • People who have succeeded have worked while others idled; have persisted while others gave up insespair.
  • None can succeed without paying the price of success.
  • We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.
  • First do it, then sayit. – Russian Proverb
  • The thing that counts is not what we can do but what we actually do.
  • Self-discipline is the ability to make yourself do what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not.
  • If I had eight hours to cut down a tree, I’d spend six of them sharpening my axe. – Abraham Lincon
  • When one door closes, another does open; but we often look as long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which are open for us.
  • The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time.
  • The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.
  • The history of mankind is the history of the risk-taking.