Relationships from a different angle

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to   suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity   may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.   She answered, ‘Public Utilities Board.’ There was silence. She   repeated, ‘PUB.’ There was still no answer. When she was going to   cut off the line, she heard a lady’s voice, ‘Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my Husband’s pocket but I do not know whose number it is.’

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if   the telephone operator answered with just ‘hello’ instead of ‘PUB’.
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NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, ‘Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?’
The father-in-law answered in a smile, ‘Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.’

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
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CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested ‘I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.’ The SDU officer said, ‘Your requirements, please.’ ‘Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don’t go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.’ The officer listened carefully and replied, ‘I understand you need television.’

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up a nd discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
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NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that ‘It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person’s character.’

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.
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RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that ‘A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.’ Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, ‘Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school.’ On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, ‘Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.’ She answered,’ You should appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire and not you.’

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It’s like a broken egg – cannot be reversed.
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PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man’s meat could be another man’s poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, ‘Very stupid. Why neither of them rides on the donkey? ‘Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, ‘The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?’ Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, ‘How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman.’
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, ‘Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you.’ Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear.
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BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy’s hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy’s hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, ‘Daddy, I’m sorry about your truck.’ Then he asked, ‘but when are my fingers going to grow back?’ The father went home & committed suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can’t. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

Glass of Milk

One day, a poor boy was selling clothing door to door, to pay for his education realized that he only had ten cents left in his pockets. He was hungry and so decided to ask for some food at the next house that he came to.

In the meantime he lost his hunger when a beautiful young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal, he asked her for a glass of water.

She saw that he was very hungry so instead brought him a huge glass of milk. He drank it very slowly and then asked- “How much do I owe you?”
“You do not owe me anything at all”, she replied:- “My mother taught us never to accept anything for doing someone a kindness”.

He replied : “Then I thank you from the bottom of my heart”.

When Howard Kelly left the house, as well as feeling stronger physically, he sensed a return of his faith in the lord which he had nearly abandoned.

Years later, this same young woman fell gravely ill. The local doctors were mystified, so they sent her to the big city where they knew that the specialists would be able to diagnose this rare sickness.

Doctor Howard Kelly was called as a consultant. When he heard the name of the city where she lived, a memory burned brightly in his eyes.

He got up and went to her room. As he entered her room, he immediately recognized her. He returned to the consultation room, determined to do his best to save her life. From that day on,he paid special attention to this case. After a long battle, the war was finally won.

Doctor Kelly left instructions that the bill should be sent to him for authorization. He looked it over, wrote something in the margin, and sent it to her room. She thought that when she opened the envelope she would find an invoice that would take the rest of her life to pay in full. But when she finally opened it, she could read,

“Paid in full with a glass of Milk”.

Wake Up [Fun]

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him up at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Pleases wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake Up!”

Be your friend…

I can’t give solutions to all of life’s problems, doubts or fears.
But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answer.

I can’t change your past with all its heartache and pain, or the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can’t keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes and happinesses are not mine.
Yet, I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge.
I can only support you, encourage you and help you when you ask.

I can’t prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can’t give you boundaries, which I have determined for you.
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself.

I can’t keep your heart from breaking or hurting.
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place.

I can’t tell who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.

10 principles for Peace of MIND…‏

1. Do Not Interfere In Others’ Business Unless Asked.
Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others’ affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and those who do not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right  direction, our direction. This thinking denies the existence of individuality and consequently the existence of God.. God has created each one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can think or act in exactly the same way. All men or women act the way they do because God within them prompts them that way. Mind your own business and you will keep your peace.

2. Forgive And Forget:

This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often develop ill feelings inside our heart for the person who insults us or harms us. We nurture grievances. This in turn results in loss of sleep, development of stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or injury was done once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by constantly remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive,20Forget, and march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.

3. Do Not Crave For Recognition:

This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are in power, but no sooner than you are powerless, they will forget your achievement and will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to kill yours lf in striving for their recognition? Their recognition is not worth the aggravation. Do your duties ethically and sincerely.


4. Do Not Be Jealous:

We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You know that you work harder than your colleagues in the office, but sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You started a business several years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business is only one year old. There are several examples like these in everyday life. Should you be jealous? No. Remember everybody’s life is shaped by his/her destiny, which has now become his/her reality. If you are destined to be rich, nothing in the world can stop you. If you are not so destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere; it will only take away your peace of mind.

5. Change Yourself According To The Environment:

If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the chances are you will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your environment. As you do this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to you, will mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.

6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured:

This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Every day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations, and accidents that are beyond our control… If we cannot control them or change them, we must learn to put up with these things. We must learn to endure them cheerfully. Believe in yourself and you will gain in terms of patience, inner strength and will power.

7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew:

This maxim needs to be remembered constantly. We often tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable of carrying out. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. . Why take on additional loads that may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by expanding your external activities. Reduce your material engagements and spend time in prayer, introspection and meditation. This will reduce those thoughts in your mind that make you restless. Uncluttered mind will produce greater peace of mind.

8. Meditate Regularly:

Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing thoughts. This is the highest state of peace of mind. Try and experience it yourself. If you meditate earnestly for half an hour everyday, your mind will tend to become peaceful during the remaining twenty-three and half-hours. Your mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You would benefit by gradually increasing the period of daily meditation. You may think that this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this will increase your efficiency and you will be able to produce better results in less time.


9. Never Leave The Mind Vacant:

An empty mind is the devil’s workshop. All evil actions start in the vacant mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something worthwhile . Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your interest. You must decide what you value more: money or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social work or religious work, may not always earn you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or mental chanting of God’s name.

10. Do Not Procrastinate And Never Regret:

Do not waste time in protracted wondering ” Should I or shouldn’t I?” Days, weeks, months, and years may be wasted in that futile mental debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate all future happenings. Value your time and do the things that need to be done. It does not matter if you fail the first time. You can learn from your mistakes and succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes, but do not brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET. Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way. Why cry over spilt milk?

Pizza Delivery Boy!!! [fun]

On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the company noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.
 
He approached the young man and calmly said to him, “How much do you earn?”
 
The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, “I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?”
 
Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $6000.00 cash and gave it to the young  man and said, “Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty!
 
Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don’t come back”.
 
The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.
 
Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, “And that applies to everybody in this company”.
 
He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, “Who’s the young man I just fired?”
 
To which an amazing reply came –  “He was the pizza delivery boy, Sir!”

Hope is life…

Hope is life. Yes, hope is the driving force and it pushes the life forward and makes the life fruitful and worthiness for living. Positive thinking will enhance the life standards and reduces the stress levels.

These following 10 points will help you to have a life with full of hope and positive thoughts.

1. Never get despair yourself for every simple defeat and take strong decision to work harder than the previous attempt..

2. Don’t be always in a hurry mood, as hurry makes you worry. Have the patience and wait for some more time looking hopefully for the result. Certainly you will get the good result, as per the hard labor put by you.

3. Never show sympathy upon yourself. Instead you make yourself more capable and dependable..

4. Never allow anxiety to overtake you. Develop this type of thinking as, still what I have to do?

5. People around you, are needn’t be either your supporters or opposites, your thinking must be in that manner. Moreover they are busy in their daily chores, that point you must ever keep in mind ever.

6. It is very difficult to please everyone always. The quotation is like this: ‘’If you want to please all, you please none”.

7. Never afraid of the changes that may occur in the circumstances where you are working but try adjust to them which gives relief from stress and strain.

8. Be of the opinion that you are helping others and not think like that others are utilizing you..

9. Never worry that you are in troubles and there is no way out.

But remember the quotation: ‘’Where there is will, there is a way”. For every problem, there is a solution.

10. You have got your thinking capacity and you need not depend on others for simple things.

Speak to others sincerely and live heart fully. Always laugh with others (it is not good to laugh at others).

Be friendly with others as far as possible. Be plain in your dealings. A sincere person is always liked by others.