Some witty definitions

School:   A place where Papa pays  and Son plays.

Life  Insurance:  A contract that keeps you  poor all your life so that youcan die Rich.

Nurse:   A person who wakes u up to  give you sleeping pills.

Marriage:  It’s an agreement in which  a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her  masters.

Divorce:  Future tense of  Marriage.

Tears: The  hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine  waterpower.

Lecture:  An art of transferring  information from the notes of  the Lecturer to the notes of the  students without passing through “the minds  of either”

Conference:  The confusion of one man  multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The  art of dividing a cake in such a way that  everybody believes he  got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A  place where success comes before work.

Conference  Room: A place where everybody  talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later  on.

Father: A  banker provided by nature.

Criminal:A guy  no different from the rest….except that he  got caught.

Boss:  Someone who is early when you are late and late when you  are early.

Politician: One  who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence  after.

Doctor: A person who kills your  ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic:  Books, which people praise, but do not  read.

Smile: A  curve that can set a lot of things  straight.

Office:  A place where you  can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:  The only time some married  men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A  sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually  do.

Committee:  Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that  nothing can be done together.

Experience: The  name men give to their mistakes.

Atom  Bomb: An invention to end all  inventions.

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