I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to do the garden, but your mother always loved planting time. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over.
I know you would dig the plot for me if you weren’t in the prison.
Shortly, the old man received this telegram:
“For Heaven’s sake, Dad, don’t dig up the garden! That’s where I buried the GUNS!!”
At 4 am the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened and asked him what to do next.
His son’s reply was:
“Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad, it’s the best I could do for you from here”.
No matter where you are in the world, if you have decided to do something deep from your heart, you can do it. It is the thought that matters not where you are…
Please do read this lovely story completely….
“When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?” The audience was stilled by the query.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy – If you get a bad one you will become a philosopher – Socrates
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognised by the police
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? – Groucho Marx
Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures – Sanuel Johnson
It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married – Robert Frost
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximim of temptation with the maximum of opportunity – George Bernard Shaw
Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a particular brand of beer exactly to his taste, he should at once throw in his job and go to work in the brewery – George Nathan
All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart – Ogden Nash
A husband’s last words should always be ‘OK buy it’.
Nothing makes a good wife like a good husband
Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing – The Bible
The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him – Oscar Wilde
No man should have a secret from his wife. She invariably finds it out – Oscar Wilde
The most dangerous food a man can eat is wedding cake
Woman like silent men, they think they are listening – Marcel Achard
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.”
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me.”
she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what She means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how I can make a woman truly Happy.”
While visiting India, George Bush is invited to tea with Abdul Kalam.
He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says, that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people. Bush asks how he knows if they are intelligent.
” I do so by asking them the right questions, ” says Kalam. ” Allow me to demonstrate.”
Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, ” Mr.Prime Minister, please answer this question : your mother has a child and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it ? ”
Manmohan immediately responds, ” It’s me. Sir!”
“Correct. Thank you and good bye, sir, ” says the Kalam.
He hangs up and says, ” Did you get that, Mr.Bush ?”
Bush nods: ” Yes Mr.President. Thanks a lot. I’ ll definitely be using that!”
Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he’d better put the Condoleeza Rice to the test.
Bush summons her to the White House and Says, “Condoleeza, I wonder if you can answer a question for me.”
“Why, of course, sir. What’s on your mind?”
Bush poses the question: “Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not you’re brother or your sister. Who is it? ”
Rice was puzzled and finally asks, ” Can I think about it and get back to you?” Bush agrees, and Rice leaves.
Rice immediately calls a meeting of senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody come up with an answer.
Finally, in desperation, Rice calls Colin Powell and explains the problem.
” Mr.Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
Powell answers immediately, ” It’s me, of course.”
Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, ” I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It’s our Colin
And Bush replies in disgust, “Wrong, you lady, its Manmohan Singh