Zen Wisdom – Inspiring Quotes

  • Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.  Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.  Do not walk beside me either.  Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
  • The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt.
  • It’s always darkest just before dawn.  So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
  • Don’t be irreplaceable.  If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
  • Always remember that you’re unique.  Just like everyone else.
  • Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  • If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 
  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.  That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
    If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. 
  • Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 
  • If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 
  • If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything. 
  • Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield. 
  • Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 
  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 
  • A closed mouth gathers no foot. 
  • Duct tape is like ‘The Force.’  It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 
  • There are two theories to arguing with women.  Neither one works. 
  • Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving. 
  • Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it. 
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up. 
  • Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
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